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ACT THREE

Scene Three- 13-bar Blues in ‘H’

In the closing scene of the musical opera three of the four original friends/vagabonds/lothario’s (no Chopper) are on the stage at the Nottingham venue. They are finishing playing ‘Noir Box’.

A few claps from the sparse crowd gathered at the venue.

Soundman “Was that alright guys?”

Simon “Yes, thanks.”

Stixey shows him the ‘single thumbs up’.

Gaz “Yep, sounded great, mate.”

Simon “Good soundcheck, Stixey.”

Stixey (smugly) “Can’t fault myself.”

Chopper emerges on stage as the others dismount their instruments.

Simon (noticing Choppers emergence) “What d’ya think Chopper?”

Chopper “Good number. So what should I do while you’re playing it?”

Gaz “Have a dance with the audience? Use your imagination, man!”

Chopper “Alright, alright, that’s doable.”

Simon “It’s starting to fill up in here now.”

Chopper (nodding towards two gentlemen with tight white vests on) “Nailed on. Even Stixey’s gay fan club’s here. I see the new camper image is paying dividends already!”

The stage fills up as the audience swells. A quite short, but handsome and bearded ginger chap walks up to the four of them at the centre of the stage.

Gaz “Alright Jocky?”

Jocky “Alright chaps?”

Stixey “Jockeeeee!”

Simon “Wahey, Jocky!”

Chopper “The Jockster!”

Jocky “All warmed up? The soundcheck sounded great!”

Stixey (looking at Chopper disdainfully) “You probably noticed the vocals were better than usual on that last number?”

Jocky (pauses, then tactfully avoiding the question) “It’s always good to hear new material.”

Gaz “Right, lads. Let’s go get ready- it won’t be too long til we’re on now.”

Jocky “See you in a bit guys.”

Kyoto Beatbox leave the stage to get changed. Once they have left four figures emerge from the crowd at the forefront of the stage. They are Charles, Dan, Steve & Jocky.

Dramatic music/singing

What’s wrong with those four?
You could cut the tension with a knife! (Jocky)
We’re not really sure (Steve)
But the rumours are rife (Charles)
That there might be some kind of split (Steve)
Or ‘Going for a Burton’ (Dan)
From what I have heard
This could be the final curtain (Charles)

Is it truth or is it fiction
That there’s major Beatbox friction
Is it false or is it fact
That they’ve read Chopper the riot act (All)

Why could this be?
What has gone so wrong? (Jocky)
I think it might be Chopper (Steve)
He’s not learnt the new song (Dan)
That must be the reason
For all the band’s tension (Charles)
They should call themselves
‘The Dynamo Ascension’ (Dan)

Is it truth or is it fiction
That there’s major Beatbox friction
Is it false or is it fact
That they’ve read Chopper the riot act (All)

What has gone so wrong
In the ‘Kyoto Beatbox’ camp? (Jocky)
Will I ever again hear
‘The Sparks’ from Simon’s amp? (Charles)
I cannot give you an answer
To your poignant query (Dan)
Just the thought of a split
Has made me feel quite teary (Jocky)

Is it truth or is it fiction
That there’s major Beatbox friction
Is it false or is it fact
That they’ve read Chopper the riot act (All)

As they finish singing the stage lights up and the crowd starts cheering. Chants of ‘What’s the Beef?’ and cheers of ‘Beatbox’ can be heard coming from the audience. When the noise reaches it’s pinnacle the four members of Kyoto Beatbox walk onstage dressed in their usual gig attire. They all get to their respective positions.

Chopper strolls closer to the mic and announces “We’re Kyoto Beatbox.” And shouts “What’s the Beef!”

They start playing ‘What’s the Beef?’ with an unusual sense of purpose. The crowd are jigging along to the song nicely and as they are playing the final chorus Gaz has a wry smile on his face. Simon spots the cheeky glint in Gaz’s eye and Gaz responds with a wink. Bemused and looking nervous Simon ploughs on with the chorus- throwing in a few cheeky Red Indian high bits as usual. In the middle of the outro, Gaz mouths “key change” and gives Simon a big nod. As he does this, he implements a key change Simon could never have anticipated, but somehow manages to follow- they both start playing in ‘H’. Simultaneously, Stixey starts playing a super fast beat on the toms which complements the note ‘H’ perfectly.

The audience instantly fall silent and many physically take a step back at the same time in amazement- one of the tight white t-shirted men faints to the floor in awe of what he is experiencing. The soundman realises what is happening and presses the ‘signed band’ button on his equipment which mysteriously changes sound in any venue from being reasonable to being crystal clear. Simon’s expression develops from elated to euphoric and Gaz is hamming up every note from his bass to the audience. Chopper- once over being dumbstruck- doesn’t seem sure what to do. Not only is this a new song, but a whole new note that he’s going to have to try and sing along with.

The audience begin to realise the significance of this moment in history and start cheering. After a pause Chopper begins singing:

Just when you thought we had nothing new to say
The Beatbox are gonna blow you away
It started when Stixey thought of an antidote
When he said ‘Someone should write a new note’ (Chopper)

Now we’ve achieved our greatest ambition
This is the end of the Beatbox mission (Gaz)

With me on guitar and Gaz on the bass
And Stixey to ensure an erratic pace
We’ve been The Beatbox and out of the blue
We discovered a note that’s completely new (Simon)

Now we’ve achieved our greatest ambition
This is the end of the Beatbox mission (Gaz)

I hate to say it but it’s no surprise
That I’m holding back tears behind my blue eyes
Because now it’s over it’s like pulling teeth
Knowing there’ll be no more ‘What’s the Beef?’ (Chopper)

(Stixey stops playing the drums and they all go to the front of the stage and sing as Simon slowly strums his guitar)

Now that we’ve finished we’ll take a bow
We want to be remembered for how
We’ve revolutionised musical history forever
And now we can no longer play together (All four)

Now we’ve achieved our greatest ambition
This is the end of the Beatbox mission (All four)

Now we’ve achieved our greatest ambition
This is the end of the Beatbox mission (Everyone)

The audience roar with rapture. The four members of Kyoto Beatbox take a bow, the lights dim and the curtain falls.


FIN